The project ‘You were held’ I have called a ‘Compassion Project’ rather than a passion project that someone might embark on. The word compassion is familiar to me as a midwife and is in our NMC core values and yet has risk of being used without full understanding of its meaning. One insight I found was ‘to include kindness, understanding, non-judgment and a commitment to alleviating distress’. This description sits well with me and upholds the projects’ aims.
I am a senior lecturer at Kingston University and previously worked in the Safeguarding Midwifery team at a Surrey based NHS Trust for 15 years. I have cared for and supported many women and birthing people who have been separated from their babies shortly after birth whilst remaining on the postnatal ward. The reasons behind babies ‘being born into care’, a phrase coined by the Nuffield Foundation, are complex. For many women in the child protection arena, the outcome following birth is often fraught with unknown outcomes, distress and disenfranchised grief as they await social work assessments to be presented to the courts. During this time women are left on the wards often with their babies, awaiting the decision of others as to whether they can go home with their babies.
During my time working with these families the safeguarding midwifery team realised we could offer compassionate care by memory making and collecting items that both mother and baby could have, so when separated they would each have toys, blankets, name bands etc as an acknowledgment of their time together. As a hobbyist photographer I also felt that I could offer the women a photography session during this waiting time so that the women could have an actual photo of them with their baby and a digital copy to be sent to the baby’s social worker for their life journal. We had to consider data protection, quality assurance, storage and transfer of images, confidentiality before being able to offer the session. My manager was able to have these conversations with the wider team and medical illustrations so that we could realize our project and start to make it happen. We had discussed the idea for many years and it wasn’t until I left the team we were able to create the space and energy for this to become reality.
We started the project in 2025 and on average we have 1 baby a month that will be ‘born into care’. This equates nationally to around 3000 babies per year. The team will tell me when a baby is due and we arrange a time that suits the mother and the team to facilitate the session. I have a volunteer contract and have kept my NHS email so that the images can be safely sent. The team arrange a side room and when appropriate, both parents are invited to sit for the photography session with their baby. Some do not want to be identifiable, so I am led by what the mother wants. I will take a close-up of being held, cuddled, a foot cupped by a mother’s hand, a crook of a neck with a baby snuggling in. Some mothers embrace the session, kissing, cooing and being fully present whilst others need support and direction on how to hold their babies to ensure a portrait that is meaningful for them. The team arrange the consent and space for the session to happen and we debrief after over a cup of tea whilst I edit the photos on site so that they are immediately available to be sent to the medical illustration team and to be kept safe. A recent podcast session said ‘Gaynor creates the most beautiful photographs, but they will never go on Instagram. Their beauty comes from how private they are. This is work that exists quietly, offered as a gift in moments where so much has been taken away…. A way to say, it happened, you gave life, you gave love’. This sums the project up in a way that I could not express myself but I am grateful that other’s too can see it’s merits, it’s potential to heal and it’s beauty.
My personal thoughts:
One of the challenges for me is deleting the images once they have been sent via email to the Safeguarding team! I love the photos and want them to be seen , shared and understood. I’d love to publish them and use them in my future academic research, but gaining consent at such a tumultuous time would be unethical. Another issue is wanting to expand the project to other areas, or have a platform to support other midwives. I am certain that will come, as I don’t want to offer and then not be able to deliver.
I will always feel empathy for the stories behind the removals and need to ensure my own psychological safety is considered, but having the team supporting the project enables me and encourages me to keep going!
What the future looks like:
The future of this project relies on the conversation to be held with the Safeguarding team, who are incredible at offering this in a sensitive, non-judgemental way. My hope is that this can be offered to all women at risk of separation, women in prisons, those in mental health mother and baby units. We have started with the hope that this will grow and midwives with cameras will be inspired to take up the project in their own Trusts.
Gaynor has recently taken part in a podcast reflecting on “You Were Held”, bringing the project to life through a powerful discussion on compassion, memory, and care in some of the most difficult moments in maternity practice.
